Over-exposed, Desperate, Searching, Dieing, Learning to be better.

The wandering man of the Desert Sands.

Endless.

The son is born to an empty home, born wasted on sedatives and cheap booze. Turn blue by the age of three. Over exposed, carbon-monoxide, smoke. Cooking dreams in your bed pan. Sleeping lifeless in your old shed. Just so his father can't get him. Twisting the tops off batteries. Stealing spark plugs just to escape. Can you feel it swarming. The warmth curls up through your legs and blood drips from your nose. Are you asleep yet? Praying for blood clots just to save an explanation in the emergency room. And we are blackened souls. Trying to find our way home. Every word is a dark road. Every road is a false hope. And sometimes I feel like we're finding something better, but I digress.

It's finally over....

...this Semester at least.


So it's been a few days since I've last made any contribution to this blog and I feel like I don't have much to say these days. Is it interesting to know what my life has been like these last months? Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Maybe people just don't care and that's fine. I don't write in this thing for other people. Just to give updates to people who give two shits about me on how I am doing. That I'm alive and well or not so well.

Anyway, Christmas is only a few days away and I'm excited. There's something about the holiday season that makes me feel good. I mended some rips and tears in a few relationships that have recently been torn. It's always great when you can make amends without saying anything about it because everything that could be said was already said. Therefore, it just fixed itself. The holiday season also makes me remember all those who we've lost in the past years. My Grandmother, Mother Hayden, Mike Mazz, Jay, all the families that go without these people this year, and how I almost lost my own mother around this time of year two years ago (Who knew that a 30lb benign tumor could have been growing in such a small woman). It was probably the worst Christmas ever, but we pulled together and made it work. I also realize how some of my friends have really grown up and have improved there lives drastically and how they should know that all of their friends and there loved ones are really proud of them.

It's also my nephew's second Christmas and I think I spent my entire life's savings on buying him as many gifts as humanly possible. The holiday's are really for the kids and they deserve to have the most special christmas' ever. Complete with holiday traditions, large feasts, and tons of toys. I wish it could be true for all children but unfortunately it is not. It's time's like these that many of us don't realize or just don't care that there are a large portion of people living in poverty. I want to make a difference. I will make a difference. Will you do the same? Me and Graham have made a decisions to do a large amount of work at camps for terminally ill children and to travel to other countries to teach English at schools for children. I hope it all pans out for us. Hopefully we can do it.

...find hope in the most awkward of places.

Through the Marsh Reeds

It’s apparent that the seams are falling out. Things are not well, things are not alright, and I just want you to know that it’s ok; I’m bound to come out fine. When you get this, I’ll be gone, when you get this, I may be dead, I may be alive, I may be a combination of both. It’s the summer and I’m freezing cold, isolated from the mind, flail the tongue, and hope for sun, It ain’t what it used to be, It ain’t anymore. Time has mended us separate hearts, this time, this time, When you read this I may be seeing the same stars you’ve been telling me about for years, where do we fit in, we haven’t been ourselves for years, and I’ve been dead for years, The fire no longer burns inside. I need to find my place.

Get up and Go! Doesn’t matter where but if you feel that you need to get there, let your feet lead you, leave your heart and head behind.

I want to be the Alchemist, who finds glory in the desert sand, I want to be that explorer who discovers uncharted land, but the world's shrinking my friend, and It's about time we start packing it in.

The Lives We Lead.

Empty Body, Empty soul, And I am right here, and I am right now.


I read this recently on someone's myspace. I don't want to name names because I don't know if this makes me a creeper for looking at this online in this blog. I just read through it and thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing. The part below stuck out though:


"My choice to get tattoos had nothing to do with a woman with a pearl necklace and an overbearing Mother, they were not intended to offend the elderly who tell me I'll never get married looking the way I do, they had nothing to do with attracting members of the opposite sex, and were not meant to make me look "tough". Want to know something funny? I don't even like tattoos. I don't read tattoo magazines, I don't like tattoo culture, I could care less about other's people's "ink". So why is there so much ink embedded in my skin? I may lose everything I ever own, everyone I ever know, but I will always have these images to remind me of the past and set the direction of my future. These markers of time and place and mind that I cannot escape even if I want to, which I don't, because I like who and where I am and if that ever changes then I deserve whatever pain or humiliation comes my way. Perhaps I am not explaining this well, and I'm not sure if I can. These are not just random pictures picked off a wall. These are pieces of me, guides, maps, promises, and confessions. An oath of permanence. A rite of passage in a society that offers none. An association with a culture in a society that has forgotten what that means." -myspace blog kingdom





...and this is my hell.

TO Wandering Souls

You're going to wander and find something new, and love it for a while just to get bored with it, and then you'll wander again, and get bored again, and nothing is going to be up to your standards. Angels will become demons. Every mile of road put to your back is a memory that you don't want to remember. You'll zig zag around the globe, and try to find another void to fill your own. Will your feet ever get tired. I say wander until you find the right fit for home. How will you know if it's the right fit if nothing meets your standards? You'll just know. Just another long December. The winter makes you laugh a little slower.


I look at creativity like a well you would dig to get water. A lot of people think there's one well, and that it's dried up. What you don't understand that if you work hard and put a little effort into finding a new well, new creativity can be found. Find a new well, or die of dehydration.

BE WELL.

There's room for you...

And sometimes my mind wanders between you and time. And sometimes I think about how we could just drift for miles out to sea. And sometimes I think about how we could drown and it'd be alright, for me at least. I filled myself with loss and lowered expectations. I've filled myself with gloom and sorrow. I let myself feel sorry for myself. I've been mistaken for strangers by my own friends, and sometimes I don't even know me anymore. I find myself in you. I find my happiest moments in you. Yet I barely know you. Yet I don't know who you are. But I know, with every ounce of me, I know. I knew when we met on a dusty road under a canopy of false hope. I've watched the loss, and I've felt the loss, and I've been alone. I just want to know that I'm not alone anymore. I am promises kept. I am foolish in the face of love. I live in a small room, with a kitchen, and living room. My bed is a single, and it's warm. If I move close to the wall there'd be room for you, there'd always be room for you. Just to find sleep. I don't have much but I'd give it all. Promises Kept.

This song is for anyone who's lost all hope.

There was a time when Love could solve anything

Now I just want to pack my things and move on. Find a place to call my home, where I can rest my tired soul, move out west and find my Gold.

You go far enough west, you'll be right back where you started.

See The Elephant

They used to have a phrase during the middle of the 18th century and during the Gold Rush to describe the West to those about to migrate in search of Gold and Glory. The phrase was, "See the Elephant." In other words, see the obvious that lies ahead of you. It was to describe the harsh reality of Western Life. But can we apply it to our everyday lives. Can we all begin to SEE THE ELEPHANT? Can we all learn to see the obvious? It's a hard task at times, seeing the obvious. We never really get a chance to see what's blatantly presented to us in life, we merely look around it and try to see past it, regardless of our feelings towards it. As human beings we look for the underlying reason for something, therefore looking past the obvious. Sometimes things are so simple and yet we've gotten into the habit of over-analyzing them. At times this is a good thing and at other times it only makes a situation worse. For instance, we are a people who are driven for "A CURE" for all ailments. We have looked past the common very easy answers such as, a heating pad or some tea, soup, or plain fresh air and have turned to the all mighty proscription. So doctors have turned into Pez Dispensers when it comes to giving out medicine for all ailments, physical and mental. What we don't seem to understand is that taking these medicines have brought about and can bring about grave consequences. Some of these medications can produce other side effects or ailments and many of these medications have made us so cleanly and healthy that if there was an outbreak of disease or influenza we'd be wiped off the face of the earth because our bodies don't have the anti-bodies built up in order to fight it. We have bypassed the elephant standing in front of us, and moved to more extreme means.

On a side note:
Remember, normal is irrelevant in life, especially when discussing religion.


Some graffiti by England's Bansky:









-Enjoy

THIS IS ABOUT TAKING CHANCES

I've been at Rowan for the last four years of my life and I've realized one thing. I need to get the fuck out of here before I wind up killing myself. I just need to graduate. It was cool the first two years but then after that it lost it's allure. Life here is monotonous. I hate that. I want to be able to wake every morning and teach or do something different. I want to travel, but everyone wants to travel. I don't just want to travel, I want to be the Kit Carson of the world. I want to blaze trails and know more about living than anyone else. Now here's the ultimate question: Is that really living? I'm not 100% sure but it's something different then what I'm doing right now. For those of you that don't know who Kit Carson is, don't Wikipedia it. Pick up a book and read about it.

Anyway, me and the cracker have been talking about stepping out and doing something much more full-filling then the normal mental masturbation that has binded us to our everyday lives. We want to hopefully do some volunteer work in foreign countries and get a feel for what we've been missing while helping other people then ourselves. I want to be able to say that I went out of my way in order to help someone without asking or expecting anything in return. I know just saying that makes it seem like I'm seeking self gratification and praise from other individuals for doing something like that. I don't really care. It's like when you're a kid and you dreamed to be a superhero. But it's moved into my adult life. I don't want to be a superhero per say but I want to do something important. I want to run into a burning building and save a few people and walk away and have it mentioned in the paper the next day that an unknown individual saved some woman or man or child. I want to put all of it on the line for someone else without expecting anything in return. I don't want to be selfish. I guess what this is really all about is taking chances.

Exanimate

Everyday passes with no accord; we share the light and process the adaptation, maybe we can step forward, from the bottom we burrow, and sink, and decompose. Fall deep into the shadow, and fear the comfort lost when you’re still part of your skin. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore, in massive migrations we burrow to the center, to the center of the hollow earth. Now we’ve seen the glass ceiling, now we know what we cannot obtain, and hearts grow weaker, and breaths grow fainter, all that is understood has been worn from these pages.

Home Sweet Home

I thought I'd never look forward to going back to Glassboro but today is that day.

Open the floodgates, God's giving us an out.

Staring at the Sun

Let he who cast the first stone be the first judged.

After last night, I don't think I ever want to drink. Alcoholism runs in my family and what I saw last night was the most atrocious thing I've ever bared witness too. I will not become that. Promises Kept.

I have no motivation to write anymore for some reason. I've been sitting here listening to American Nightmare on repeat and it feels like all the substance has been taken out of me. But I'll move through it.

You ever feel like you need to tell someone you like them but know that you shouldn't. Yea I'm that way today, and have been for a week now. I told myself a little over a year ago that I was going to take myself out of the whole relationship scene for a long while. This is what I get. Alone in New Jersey, the place I call home, four white walls and a window mark my life. It'd be nice to have her there with me sometimes. To sleep next to. One day maybe, not today. It feels like I'm still in high school with all this shy crush bullshit. But the situation as it is now makes it so it doesn't work out with a happy ending.

My days since my last post - lets analyze. Spent Sunday and Monday doing work for school so I could spend time with Kelsie and Heidi on Tuesday, so nothing special happened until Tuesday. Tuesday was awesome seeing them. I bought them Pizza because lets face it, pizza anywhere else sucks really hard. Then we visited the beach and Lighthouse. It was raining be we had fun anyway. Then we went to Rowan, visited Philly and had some Mexican food. Ultimately, I love seeing them. They make me happy to be alive. I miss them already, when they come back when it's warmer, it's going to be epic. We'll have a lot more fun. I wish I had more to say, but I'm boring.

Justs

1.) Just got back from the mall and five guys with Graham. It was nice.

2.)Just read the best interview ever (http://www.allphillyallday.blogspot.com/) with George from Blacklisted. It's really how I feel about music. Sounds dumb and pathetic but he put things the way my head has been trying to wrap itself around lately.

3.) Just realized how monotonous my life is.

4.) Just got kicked off the computer by my mom.

-more on all these subjects later.

Ever just want to turn back the hands of time and change everything that happened in your life. If I could I would. I would have changed where my focus was early on. I would have focused more on becoming as intelligent as possible, and I'd make sure that I had good eating habits and would have tried to keep my weight down and later on, I would have worked out a lot. Because of today, I haven't been comfortable in my own skin since 12th grade. I'd change what college I went to, I'd change the girls that I dated, the one thing that would have stayed constant though is baseball and my family. I love my family, just wish I got better genes. I don't know why I'm not enjoying life, I guess I need someone in it who still has lots of life to enjoy. Maybe that's why I hang out with younger people and date younger girls. Maybe I'm searching for the person who brings the high school kid out of me. Fun loving, caring, etc. I don't know what I got myself mixed up in later on in my life. I thought I was doing things that were going to make me happy, instead I made a bunch of bad moves that made me feel terrible about my life. All I do is work, I never get a chance to enjoy the people around me or make new friends. I'm way too shy when it comes to things that I'm not familiar with. I have a hard time stepping outside of the box. There's so much that I want to do but I don't' have the balls to do it. I'm afraid of what other people would thing of me if I did. Sometimes I just want to take some time off from school and move halfway around the world and just skim through life. Sometimes I wish I had a better personality, maybe that would have changed who I was. Shaped me in some way. I need change and it starts with from the moment that I was born and should occur until now. I wish I wasn't me sometimes.

We must remember that ultimately if we continue to live in the past we'll never see whats in our future. Misery follows me until I can forget my past.

Son Of Gaea, Bound By Earth

To date this is everything I've written that will appear on the new SKYSETUNFOLD record that will go into production sometime soon and not be done for a really long time. Some of the songs are already written musically, and some are not. There will be more lyrics posted but for now these are the ones from what I've written in the past six months that will be transformed into songs and molded. The process is long and arduous but it's worth it, we don't like to put out shitty filler songs. Every song has to be perfect, that's why it takes so long. It's also tough because we're gone during the week and only get to write on the weekends. Hopefully I can become more involved in the writing process once I get a new PA. I know no one really reads this so I don't feel bad about posting this, if anyone wants to donate money so I can get a new PA head and speakers that would be awesome. My head blew and the speakers I have are crap. My first priority is a new head. Then hopefully new larger speakers. We'll see what happens. Then hopefully I can switch to a board and get some shit together. I'll see what happens.

The Kingdom of the Rising Sun

The body of being has sold you for less; the body of being has sold you for less, I, man born of fear and flesh, stand before the light. With guilt to stain our teeth we march. What have we proven? That the man made merely of flesh is a man who shall drag his halo, consumed with misery. Disease has spread, may every word I speak inflict death, not through spit, not through blood, not through hope, And they sing, “Here, now, we’ve lost all hope, on our progression we all choke, that man has found no moral code, repent your sins for we are true.” I’ve got more to die for these days, this is our growth. This is the Kingdom of the Rising Sun, this is war on humanity. Bring forth moral reform.

Solomon

Here and where these lines are drawn, here is where Day and Night run together. Does fear sill drive you? Bear witness to an act of truth, rolling off a forked tongue and through crooked teeth, to deaf ears. Silent gasp – the noise is there. Comfort in my own skin. And she says, “Is this what you’ve been remembered for.” Potential wasted, all to noise. But we walk the same narrows, we are the same heart, beating, hoping, drowning, dieing, and still I’m just a ghost in the crowd, walking a narrow line. It’s the patience in grieving that will make you stronger, it is the patience of heart that will keep you longer. Yet, there will come a time where nothing will matter but self preservation, but you will be given a choice, perish or defile. Which weakness shall give you strength, which hope shall build upon sorrow?

TITAN

Life is monotonous, life is static. And all of your will has been removed. I shall run oceans dry; I shall scorch life to dust. Where change has brought no virtue, I will remain to consume. This crossroad, neither path shall lead to a center. Time and space, destroyed and devoured. Can you feel your mind running weak? You were born under the veil, possessing the means within your hands. And you will reap what you sow. I HAVE FOUND IT IN FILTH AND SORROW. Almighty Gaea, mother of all life, deem me your titan, I shall find you in the earth, and I shall find you where mountain meets sky. Move your feet, lift your anchor, one step and change begins.

THE ALCHEMIST

I leap forward to catch my tongue, I smile crooked and show my teeth, and all those that fear shall come to know my name. I belong, to the Earth. This is goodbye. WATCH AS I TURN GOLD TO SAND. May we realize we all share the same fate, let this be our bond while from either shore they rise, to destroy us. All HEARTS REST WITH THE SETTING SUN. How far are you willing to go. So I hope you can understand, why I'm leaving you, in the absence of death, I am the end.

He Who Has the Will

He who has the will…wake to the pyre built for the dead, damnation surely follows, and waits, waits for his end, death surely does not sleep, smothered by a mixture of hope and fear, we lay, among the maggots to absorb truth, what’s in the ground, stays in the ground, he who has the will (oh) to live can surely overcome any hell. We are torn down with the masses, reliving the past we cannot hide from – suffer among the wretched, That which breeds life will not save you, and that which rips it apart will become king, and he who does not prepare for war will surely die, A generation brought to it’s knees by a plague. Repent, bow before the deceiving shadows, bow before the hands of God.

Constants.

Do I have anything interesting to say? You decide.

I AM GLYNN CAPICCULA. I RUN THIS BLOCK, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!



I Love the life I lead and the people who are part of it and next week I get to see some of the important people who are apart of it - Heidi and Kelsie only part of my West Virginian Extended Family. It should be a good time. I have to start planning our day. I want them to experience what life is like here as they have showed us what life is like there. On another note, I don't know how I've stayed so up beat lately. It's tough but I'm doing it somehow. Things that would have driven me nuts are leaving me neutral. I show no emotion either way to be honest and I'm living a much better life. I'm looking forward to a lot of things. Hopefully this summer I'll be in California for a few days and then I'm going to try and volunteer at least some of my time abroad. I'm meant for something bigger then myself, I am a piece in the puzzle.

Leaves you wondering: Maybe I was meant to walk alone.

An equal exchange of ideas and beleifs without persecution

It’s strange how the leaves change, how no matter how often you rake your lawn in the fall, leaves just keep falling. How cold air and the smell of a fire in a woodstove can arouse so many feelings and memories. How sometimes things have to come to an end and new things begin where the old left off. How a rainy day can leave you time for reflection on the paths that you take. How the world around us is in complete disarray and how you wouldn’t mind God taking this Utopia, which we’ve been handed, from us. Just rip it out like a rug from under our feet. It’s funny how I’ve been able to skim through life without taking any chances. I’ve lived my life in a box.

Today, dashing through my brain, I realized there is a need for extreme moral reform in our world. Some people mistake this for strict religious reform. That just makes things worse because regardless you’re alienating one group of people. Some people believe it needs to take place through racial reform. Bullshit. It’s just an excuse to once again alienate one group of people. I believe in strict firm moral reform without hindering the rights of Americans. When police officers and government officials say that they let the small petty crimes go so to take down larger ones, they are just making excuses for why there’s such a problem in the world today. When a person cannot walk down the street without fearing for their life, there is a problem. I don’t think that our government can get it done. It is time that we stop letting other people do things for us to ensure our freedoms. It is time we took the responsibility into our own hands and fire back at the problem. It is time for revolution; it is time to make a change. No martyr’s, no heroes, no leaders. Moral reform must come if we are to see an improvement in world around us and it starts in our own homes. In our own personal lives. People bitch about how things aren’t going their way; well this is your chance to make them go your way. It is true that great societies have thrived because they had a class of people who they stepped on to thrive. Historically you can see peoples who have been drowned in mud in order for the elite to not get their feet dirty. Look around you. Do you think it’s changed at all? Do you think any of us are any different? I believe not. Not it is time to let your mouths be the vehicle on which change is brought forth, let us lead by example, and let us let our hands bring about radical reform if need be.

Who is the meat and who is the butcher?

Who is the hunter and who is the prey?

Who do we bury without thought and who do we revere in death?

Why are they any different from us?

-Enjoy the life you’ve been given or be punished for the acts you do and do not commit.-

But then again, I’ve lived my life without stepping outside of the box. All that’s needed sometimes is one spark to take matters into your own hands. And when this spark ignites the powder keg that sits under you, ask yourself, “What and Who do I have to live for?” You’re answer will show you the path that diverged in the wood. That crossroad is where a Virtuous man dreams and a Wicked Man Acts.

-TRUTH AND PURPOSE OF GRAND DESIGN

Here Is Where Night and Day Run Together.

I haven't seen this person on campus in two years and we seem to be bumping into each other constantly. We talk like we're old friends sharing war stories. Is this a good thing or a bad thing. I guess we will soon find out. Life has a funny way of expressing itself. She's pretty cool and really nice. I don't know if it's my desire to be with someone that makes me feel kind of close to her for some reason or because it's just the fact that she's a really nice person. Time to roll the dice.

Question: Why is it that things that are hard get soft when they get stale and why is it that things that are soft get hard when they go stale? Explain that to me Bill Nye.



HAVE I LOST MY WAY. LIFE IS CONTENT:




SILT

Covered in mud, covered in life, here is where Day and Night run together, struggle to keep afloat, let the Gulf Stream take you under. Hide behind the stack of papers that are piling up on your desk, when will you step out of the norm. Does fear drive you? Does fear know your name? It’s the patience in grieving that will make you stronger, it’s the patience of heart that will keep you longer, bare the brunt of the oncoming storm. Here it is, here it lies, and yet you stand still as if consumed in deep thought, jump now, save later. What do you have to give? What is it that makes you a positive member of this society? Do you still fear?

Bobby Cassidy and the Truth

We're in for one hell of a year. Seasons change and war begins, claim their lives as time restarts, what circle cannot be broken. The chimes of greed catch wind and ring, as the bell tolls silent, storms build on the horizon. Bathe in oil, wade in sand, pray for starvation.

He's got one more year in office and nothing to lose. Who is going to stop him from bombing Iran before we have tried every single method of peaceful democratic intervention in order to prevent nuclear proliferation and what could be World War III. What is wrong with sitting down and coming to a peaceful resolution.

Remember the will use fear to cloud your better judgement.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." -Albert Einstein

TITAN

Life is monotonous, life is static. And all of your will has been removed. I shall run oceans dry; I shall scorch life to dust. Where change has brought no virtue, I will remain to consume. This crossroad, neither path shall lead to a center. Time and space, destroyed and devoured. Can you feel your mind running weak? You were born under the veil, possessing the means within your hands. And you will reap what you sow. I HAVE FOUND IT IN FILTH AND SORROW. Almighty Gaea, mother of all life, deem me your titan, I shall find you in the earth, and I shall find you where mountain meets sky. Move your feet, lift your anchor, one step and change begins.

NORTH

If death wanders loosely around my neck, let the hangman reign and the noose shall be drawn forward. May they know I walked the path of the barefoot disciple, and dreamt of infinite glory among the wolves of damnation. I can still hear it ticking, our clock, and I can still hear it beating. You shall hear me, you shall know my voice, and you shall find me cold. Listen closely, if my voice becomes silent, if I stumble and fall from my narrow path, if my hands can not pull me forward because my legs have lost the way of progress, leave me to rot and drop anchor, the circle cannot be broken. CAN YOU STILL HEAR ME, THROUGH MY STAGGERED BREATHING, WAR HAS COME TO SICKEN THE NIGHT, COME QUICK OH ANGEL OF DEATH, AS THE FOUR HORSEMEN HAVE ARRIVED.

Surplus: The Mood of Giving and Lack there of.

NEW DILLINGER IS UP! LISTENING RIGHT NOW! BETTER BE EPIC!!!!

Work loads been heavy so I didn't enjoy Halloween. I did enjoy the campus sluts who use the holiday as an excuse to dress really skanky. To quote the often times misunderstood, Kyle "The THUNDER HAMMER," "WHAT THE SLUT?!?!" Moving on....

...Mosh or be Moshed, moving futher....

...this is far enough.....

The Kingdom of the Sun

The body of being has sold you for less; the body of being has sold you for less, I, man born of fear and flesh, stand before the light. With guilt to stain our teeth we march. What have we proven? That the man made merely of flesh is a man who shall drag his halo, consumed with misery. Disease has spread, may every word I speak inflict death, not through spit, not through blood, not through hope, And they sing, “Here, now, we’ve lost all hope, on our progression we all choke, that man has found no moral code, repent your sins for we are true.” I’ve got more to die for these days, this is our growth. This is the Kingdom of the Rising Sun, this is war on humanity. Bring forth moral reform.

...I'm done listening to the new Dillinger. Some songs suck, some songs rule, over-all, it's ok. Just ok? yes just ok. They took some chances and I just didn't like the direction they were taking it. Deffinately worth picking up, because their are some sweet songs on this album. Ire Works - Nove 13th, 2007. In stores. Play guitar hero and rot - you are my always and never.

make sense of it.

Why's and How's

I should be preoccupied with work but instead I've decided to hinder my progress by maintaining a blog. Sounded like an intelligent thing to do to be honest. As of the past few days I've felt little less then complete, like something is missing that's not there. You know that feeling, not necessarily that it's someone who needs to the fill the void or even food for that matter (trust me, I poop enough to know that I'm eating enough). I just need something that hasn't been there. I've been really busy with work and that's a large part of my life but I hope it doesn't become my life. I want to travel, I want to step outside of the box for once in my life. I feel like I've been too conservative. I feel like I have all these questions and none of them can be answered where I am at right now in my life. I feel like the second rate son in a family of intelligent human beings who have everything figured out. I could be misled but that's the truth. I wish I didn't have to go to school anymore, that would be nice.
Other then that, things have been well. Shows have been fun and Shawn comes back this weekend which will be nice. Nothing but Titties and Rootbeer. Should be intense. Anyway, as some of you may have heard, yes a student was killed on my campus recently. To be honest, if one more person tells me to be safe I'm going to lose my mind. I make sound decisions I believe and I try to stay out of harms way by not being unintelligent, so stop babying me. For God Fucking sakes I'm 21. If it's my time to go, for whatever reason, I'll part without complaining. At any moment I could walk out my front door and never come back. That's life, people die, things get mucked up sometimes but the beat goes on. It just doesn't end you know. Don't get me wrong I feel for the Kids family and for the tragic incident that happened but what I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to live my life in fear because of some disease that's killed a few people or because there's senseless violence in the world. I'm going to keep living the way I always have lived, the best that I can. That's all.

The End Out