Ever just want to turn back the hands of time and change everything that happened in your life. If I could I would. I would have changed where my focus was early on. I would have focused more on becoming as intelligent as possible, and I'd make sure that I had good eating habits and would have tried to keep my weight down and later on, I would have worked out a lot. Because of today, I haven't been comfortable in my own skin since 12th grade. I'd change what college I went to, I'd change the girls that I dated, the one thing that would have stayed constant though is baseball and my family. I love my family, just wish I got better genes. I don't know why I'm not enjoying life, I guess I need someone in it who still has lots of life to enjoy. Maybe that's why I hang out with younger people and date younger girls. Maybe I'm searching for the person who brings the high school kid out of me. Fun loving, caring, etc. I don't know what I got myself mixed up in later on in my life. I thought I was doing things that were going to make me happy, instead I made a bunch of bad moves that made me feel terrible about my life. All I do is work, I never get a chance to enjoy the people around me or make new friends. I'm way too shy when it comes to things that I'm not familiar with. I have a hard time stepping outside of the box. There's so much that I want to do but I don't' have the balls to do it. I'm afraid of what other people would thing of me if I did. Sometimes I just want to take some time off from school and move halfway around the world and just skim through life. Sometimes I wish I had a better personality, maybe that would have changed who I was. Shaped me in some way. I need change and it starts with from the moment that I was born and should occur until now. I wish I wasn't me sometimes.

We must remember that ultimately if we continue to live in the past we'll never see whats in our future. Misery follows me until I can forget my past.