It's like you're never good enough. It's like people just mock the things that make you unbelievably happy. It's like no matter what you're never the best you're always somewhere at the bottom struggling to keep afloat. You work and work and work and nothing gets better. I drive around town from time to time late at night praying for a car to veer into me driving at a high velocity, take me from myself. Take the life I have yet to live from me. Sometimes I pray for some estranged disease to overcome me and take me to the bottom of a six foot hole. I am no one. I am nothing. I'm not even a good person anymore. I just want or need something to prove my worth. Something to test me. I ask for it everyday, but nothing comes. I'm tired of living the way other people want me to.