Spit and Piss

these depths,
curling up inside,
already burning on crosses
they've built of dry timber,
etching out the means,
to feed humanity.

God give me the will,
to perish before I get,
to see the innocent rot.

I doubt my wishes will be granted (I've already seen it).

these depths,
hold secrets,
funneled into the darkest portions
of small intestines,
clutter the mess,
in piss and shit,
only to be revealed,
in the vowels rolling
off your tongue.

I hear the voices,
trembling spirits,
giving ghosts,
haunting sermons.

and in our darkest days, you'll always have complaints.

in these depths,
chastised servants,
bound by intelligence,
hands tied tight in knots,
un-bow their legs
so they may walk,
un-bound their mouths,
so they may speak,
lift the weight from their chests,
so they may breath,
or do you fear the,
plagues they would release.

I feel the hands,
grasping for the sun,
digging at the earth,
howling at the moon.

it's a daunting task to live a life of captivity, servility, sterility.

in these depths,
darkest trenches of war,
we pay to cum,
we kill the seed,
we spread freedom (?),
no atheists,
in foxholes,
no fear of death,
in the forgetful mind,
and I hear them in my sleep,
screaming through the pain,
and I hear that loud crack,
to ease their way to oblivion.

Even in my dreams,
they're their,
waiting for,
meaning.

Goodnight dear, Goodbye, to the smell of spit and piss,
overtaking me.

Solemnly Sworn

My Brother, My Blood.

I've told stories of fearless grandeur,
some over exaggerated and occasionally flawed,
but today I speak truth,
whether It reaches you with open ears,
or closed mind,
I do not care because today I speak no lies.

My Brother, My Blood.
Born.

Hands clenched and screaming,
Teeth clenched and screaming.
born of warriors blood,
boiled with the warmth of the sun,
lips perched north,
and you sing,
"an honorable man,
shall live forever."

heart pumping love,
smile bright and embracing,
restless, strong, forgiving,
intelligent, athletic,
charismatic,
child, boy, man,
forever mine to cherish,
heart and mind.

And They'd spout,
unclench your fists son,
and they'd spout,
keep open hands son,
but you kept them shut,
those unforgiving knuckles,
inflicting hate on those,
who stole happiness,
from beautiful souls.

My brother My blood.
death.

Stand tall my brother,
at the gates of judgment,
let your heart pump love,
and your smile shed light
on the man,
Strength in turn shall be rewarded.

Take your rightful place,
Amongst Titans.
Let Gaea embrace you as a son,
and Neptune keep you warm,
in the blanket he wrapped the sky.

You surely cannot die,
for you are a COLOSSUS of man,
My Brother, My Blood.

Never has it been so true

I promised myself I wouldn't lead you on. So here it is confused and flawed. As foolish as these words may seem. As foolish as I may be. See, I'm just a factory worker's son from a railroad town. And yeah, I can feel the steel mills rust. But Iìve been doing my time and I've been thinking about getting out. I'm running fast the other way down a narrow dead end road. I know this won't be the last time I sing "These dreams will be my anchor. These dreams will be the death of me." Through all this I've been feeling like I'm slowly burning out...nothing is all bad...nothing is quite right. So I kept inking and screaming from my room...the only way I know how to...I'm calling out to you. I'm calling out to you. Nerves wrapped tight around my spine. I'm past the point of caring what the rest of them think. They've got the fear. They're holding back. And this is for the go-for-broke common-muck few. And this marks the end of an era and the start of something better. What can we do when the war is all around? The veins are constricting the pressure is coming down. What can we do when the war is all around? The veins are constricting. The pressure is coming down. Everyone knows we're living in a world we just can't trust. Left in the wind to die in the dust...so we spoke up. Crazy, Ugly, Illegitimate...never again. We are the symptom. We are the torn in the side. They scream 'til it hurts. They can't sleep. I want to be one of them. We try. We bleed. Endless. Broken. White. Lines. And we don't care anymore. I don't give a fuck. 'Cause I'm one of them. Our rebel hearts will turn restless ghosts. They can never truly kill us and we will never truly die.

-MODERN LIFE IS WAR "Hair Raising Accounts of Restless Ghosts (A.K.A. Hell Is For Heroes)

Progress For Vultures

I am not as creative or as eloquently put together as other people. Over the years I've watched friends become strangers with familiar faces. I've lost just as much as I've gained and feel good that I'm even close to breaking even. Self-esteem doesn't live here, I'm as good dead as I am alive.

That said, all I do is listen to Cat power and Snapcase, while reading constantly. Life is good. Never been better. Worst ever.

Hey there vulture,
swooning in the glare of the sun,
stirring the whirlpool in your kettle,
you can't just wait to taste blood,
no one can get near that diseased carcass
that you call life,
I long to quit you but all I get is dry mouth,
spitting sand at all walks of life,
so you can pick me clean,
white of bone and dry of blood,
it seems you keep popping up when
I least need your affection or attention,
I wish to quit you but you sense the end,
and retain a drive to ruin all that warms me,
block out the sun so as to shade my eyes,
block out the sun so we can all be blind.

Impervious to the dry desolate kingdom of earth, he strives forward, “do not fear the divine, we can rebuild what they can destroy.” “Foolish words from a drunken tongue, speak wisely or these may be your last pleasant breaths of air.” “I surely cannot die, I am a colossus of man.” Cautious be those who spout wisdom from lack of knowledge, more cautious be those that listen with a trusting ear. Staggering to forgiveness, grieving for life, he mocks death as it smiles upon him. To understand understanding is to begin to heal. His last breaths. Now peace is eternal? I hope that your god forgives you for all your sins. I hope that the life you live chokes you as it has choked me. I hope that you are thrown far from the narrow road you walk. I hope your deliverance brings you eternal suffering.

Praying for a miracle, I have to choose between life or death, has life been created out of kindness or wrath, technology seems to be advancing our hate, media biased warrior culture thriving on lack of understanding, progression for the sake of progress, losing hold, losing soul. How important are you, holding grudges on the lifeless. How politically correct. I fester inside your heart, only to stop it from beating. I am the opiate to the masses, I am cynicism, I am the web. See you at the bottom.

Teenage waste is shed on you and me, you are so self righteous, stop your crying, because I ain’t listening. A million have it worse, third world hell hole, no one to hear their pleas, no one to calm their conscience, is my son dead, is my family buried beneath the sun, hunger is setting in, thirst is setting in. You pray for things to be better, he’s tired of listening to your petty pleas, empty heart, empty mind, no remorse. And we are all doomed for your sins, if he’s still there at all. Send me nothing, I walk alone, because a million have it worse.

‘Wipe that smile off your face son’ abusive to the core, ‘If I told you once I told you a thousand times’ taste the satisfaction, my anger is my disease. I’ll feel better if I hit her one more time. Down the hatch, it tastes like success. Work is hell, hell is work, life is pain, so we pursue our American Dreams. Go ahead get that chip off your shoulder, ‘don’t talk back to me.’ I hide myself at all times, behind a cloak, a label, and a bottle. Peel the flesh from my bones, so you can see the rot, peel the world from my shoulders, discover disease. You have entered my frame of reference, ‘BE THE DREAM’ and all is silent so all is well.

I fell in Love with a world that COULDN'T Love me back

In those open eyes,
reflecting back fresh painted yellow lines,
I hear the car door slam,
and we're off again.
The time will pass,
by counting those rusted railroad tracks,
better pray to god,
that storm don't roll in.
Again we stop along that old highway road,
heading west, waiting for the world to swallow us whole,
curious are these words,
I watched the spider weave.
Here the sun is unforgiving,
It'll take the soul from your body just for living,
pedal to the floor,
roll the windows down.
That bead of sweat,
rolling off your brow from your forehead
caught by the wind,
air conditioning your brain.
Although we're fried,
We'll get there quicker and in half the time,
they want us dead,
they may get their way.
I inhale smoke,
the engines blown and won't cool down with Coke,
bottled up,
so the sun can shine.
I've lived in sin,
but just this time my heart might give in,
to stay alive,
you have to choose.

I walked a day through the desert sands,
left to die for killing another man,
but he would have killed me too.

Culling Songs without Titles

Eyes drop to the floor, he cannot bare to look you in the eye. Blood crusted around the edges of his nostrils, taste the spit, foul fractured face bones metal plate to seal the bond, the world meets you at your lowest point, feet anchoring you to the worlds gravitational lust, barely holding on, that which is now created will never be again, and yet you’ve settled for less, you allowed yourself to rot. Eyes lodged to a technological break through, nostrils barely snorting air and dust, you passed out and hope you never wake up.

May weary days come crashing in, may vital signs be growing faint, alive or dead I’ve found elegance in every deep gasp of air. A journey of mind, body and soul ends in six feet of water, a toe tag and a worm infestation, but it was worth the trip.

Do you fear, do you fear your end? What way will you go, a mass extinction of building egos. Or do you fear, do you fear the change of times. How an idea can kill the very foundation a generation was built upon. Are you afraid that your originality will be bought and sold, afraid that you were educated to provide lips for service. May my mouth be the vessel of discourse and remorse. Carrying waves of sound through willing ears to be regurgitated and resold. I am the enticing cynic who spits upon the fabric which morality was sewn. This is my plea for hope that this is the end of your generation. This is my plea for hope, may this be the end of your generation. May I be the carrier of the disease, may every breath I take infect another life, let me infect all those that can hear. Let the world know you are not a slave.

Enter the life that calls for you, breathe in, it’s all you have left, just breathe, but you know that some ones waiting. Your hotel room is quiet but you enter anyway, she begins to undress and it all seems surreal. She’s already dead, you’re already shaking, your blood pushes through your veins, faster than before. You can taste the air, its thick with sweat and mold, neither of you says a word, you just dance around each others bodies. Her eyes are sunken into her head, skin drips from her cheeks, hollow and alone, lost and immersed in the poison that has plagued you for years. All it takes is a deep breath and your guilt is gone, your conscience submerged in cannibalistic thoughts. It’s all you have left. Empty and torn. Pinned between body and floor. From your sleep you’re stirred. Soaked in sweat. Time to move on.

Exanimate

Everyday passes with no accord; we share the light and process the adaptation, maybe we can step forward, from the bottom we burrow, and sink, and decompose. Fall deep into the shadow, and fear the comfort lost when you’re still part of your own skin. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore, in massive migrations we burrow to the center, to the center of the hollow earth.

TITAN

Life is monotonous, life is static. And all of your will has been removed. I shall run oceans dry; I shall scorch life to dust. Where change has brought no virtue, I will remain to consume. This crossroad, neither path shall lead to a center. Time and space, destroyed and devoured. Can you feel your mind running weak? You were born under the veil, possessing the means within your hands. And you will reap what you sow. I HAVE FOUND IT IN FILTH AND SORROW. Almighty Gaea, mother of all life, deem me your titan, I shall find you in the earth, and I shall find you where mountain meets sky. Move your feet, lift your anchor, one step and change begins.

THE ALCHEMIST

I leap forward to catch my tongue, I smile crooked and show my teeth, and all those that fear shall come to know my name. I belong, to the Earth. This is goodbye. WATCH AS I TURN GOLD TO SAND. May we realize we all share the same fate, let this be our bond while from either shore they rise, to destroy us. All HEARTS REST WITH THE SETTING SUN. How far are you willing to go. So I hope you can understand, why I'm leaving you, in the absence of death, I am the end.

May these words reach you in deep slow breaths.